on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
