i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
