Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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