pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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