fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
