hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
