No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
