i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
