HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
