also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
