they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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