I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
