Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
