I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
