Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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