I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
