We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
