Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
