Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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