My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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