I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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