i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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