dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
