You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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