My hair reeks of homosexuality.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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