Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
