Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
