He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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