is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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