i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This baby is an asshole
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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