I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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