So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
