when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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