Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
