It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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