You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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