Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
