what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
