VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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