I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
