hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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