I want to stick my p in your. b.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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