Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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