Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
