if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
