she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
