why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
