Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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