i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
