? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jerry, you need to find god
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
